m33ka:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Might be a little dark for some, but as someone who battles with depression I find this hilarious.

A funny and accurate depiction of those dreadful days when you feel like you can’t even move without messing it up- this is usually the end result.

ierothusiast:

na na na plus noots

theonewhoeatscats:

spooktercrunk:

abhorticulture:

thecakebar:

Surprise! Gender Reveal Cake

  • A Gender reveal party is where the parents throw a party (similar to a baby shower) to find out the gender of the baby! 
  • No one knows the sex of the baby (just the party planner/bakers know!)
  • The gender is revealed when the parents cut the cake open and the inside color of the cake/desserts reveal if the baby will be a boy or a girl! (pink is usually used for girls, blue for boys of course!)

mine was full of wasps. HUGE WASPS.

"what’s the baby’s gender?" the eager party goers ask, crowded around the cake

slowly, the knife cuts through the first piece. “wasps.” the proud parent-to-be whispers, “wasps.”

one thousand wasps are released from the gender cake.

This is a sex cake not a gender cake.

gallifrey-feels:

runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

No, but you forgot the best one

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

Nostradamus oh my god

ierothusiast:

Im sorry but i needed to make more heres na na noot

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

theweepyfox:

geometricdeathtrap:

So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work

image

I want this on a shirt.

Please, I want this on underwear

SO I FIND OUT MY FRIENDS AND I ARE ON OUR LOCAL NEWS WEBSITE

manafromheaven:

silentevilx:

We were asked all these questions about how long the costumes took us, how we did it, etc. 

I paused the video right when we were asked how much money we spent on our cosplays and

image

does that give you your answer

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY 

satansbuttnipples:

omg I just watched the first Doctor Who episode that was made in color and I’m laughing really hard because you can literally see the creators’ excitement

image

FUCK YEAH LOOK AT ALL THESE FUCKING COLORS THEY’RE ALL IN YOUR TV NOW HOW COOL IS THAT FUCK YEAH

the4elemelons:

Well I did 6th grade wrong

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.

sauntering-vaguely-downwards:

attention: mistique is way cooler than the movies make her out to be

atheistassessment:

Signs of Abuse http://ift.tt/1jlaKWs

On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence. —

Shakesville: Feminism 101 (via andotherdoublemeanings)

BOOM

(via lagertha-lodbrok)

THIS

(via quixoticlyqueer)

And when we have our periods our ‘male’ hormone (testosterone) is actually at its highest level…soooooo…

(via a-ghra-geal)

^ not actually true, testosterone peaks when you ovulate (x).  you don’t need testosterone to not tolerate bullshit, either.  passivity is socialized in women, not a result of biology.

(via lacigreen)

abravedave:

On a llama in the sun,
we’ll be playing and having fun,
And it makes me feel so fine,
I can’t control my croissants.

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pohroro